[ Monday, May 26, 2003 ]
Caveman Ninja
or
Yankees Suck
In lieu of posting something genuinely interesting, I will relate this tale. Seeing as how I returned to the US with a big bag of arcade machine parts, I set out not too long ago to aquire a machine suitable for housing these parts. I have the fixings on hand to make six different games. Some of them very good games. But first I need a cabinet or two that I can work the appropriate magic with. Really, any cabinet would do, provided it was relatively modern, (i.e. post-pac-man).
It was with this in mind that I collected a decently suitable hunk of cash and set out with two friends and a pickup truck to find a cabinet for sale. Somewhere. Somehow.
I'll be the first to admit that not a lot of thought went into this endeavour. I did a little bit of planning, collected the name and address of every arcade on the south shore, and a few other choice locations, but I was putting a lot off on positive thinking. The original plan was to drive up to Skowhegan, ME and pick up a bargain machine from a warehouse. However, a similar fit of preliminary research revealed that the warehouse in question was run by a reputedly hopeless shyster of the sort I was not keen to do business with. Disappointment aside, this saved a lot of driving.
So with no more than a list and a truck, we went searching. It took us quite a while to even find an arcade that was, well, open. And when we did they told us in no uncertain terms that they could not sell any of their machines to anyone, ever. We then got separated, lost, and some burgers, but not in that order. Then we moved on.
We also did some casual trespassing at one of the non-open arcades, and eventually wound up with a name and some light hope, provided we came back tomorrow. It would have been quite easy for us to walk off with a very nice Tekken 4 machine if we had only brought a dolly with us. A dolly, and, you know, a complete morals deficiency.
Later we found an arcade that was not only open, but was willing to sell their machines. Unfortunately, they were asking for a sum of money that might otherwise be exchanged for a small car, so we just played a few games and moved on. Dan played Crazy Taxi, I played Initial D, Dan and Mike played Time Crisis, I played DDR, and people laughed at me. On again down the list.
We found two moderately derelict looking arcades sitting right next to each other, which must have been someone's bad idea, even if it was beachfront property. After another round of casual trespassing (which was extremely promising), we knocked at one and were greeted by a burly, surly, unshaven Cigar Smoking Bastard. He furnished us with another name, another "come back tomorrow", and a long string of dirty looks. We coincidentally ran into someone on the way out of the other building, with nearly identical results (sans dirty looks). Then we brought the truck around back and rummaged through their dumpster for a while.
Although they hadn't actually thrown out a complete, functional arcade cabinet, they had come quite close. We were in the process of taking it (along with some peculiar plastic object that seemed to be emitting neon green light) when the Cigar Smoking Bastard made a return appearance and told us that we had to leave. Evidently, he wanted us out for reasons of legal liability more than anything else. It seemed uncharacteristically nice of the CSB to be so concerned about the possibility that one of us might get injured rooting through his trash. Jerk.
Success came, much much later, when I made a string of phone calls from the road to local distribution outfits. One of them was nice enough to call me back and invite us to tour their stock at our earliest convenience. This particular distribution outfit seemed to be one man housed in a building that was otherwise home only to garage bands, one of which was desperately searching for a drummer. Dan suspected that his brother might once have rented space there. This was not surprising.
The guy that ran the place (who was a VERY nice guy, even if he was chain smoking the whole time we were there) showed us all the machines in my price range, and even a few that obviously weren't, just for fun. After a careful inspection, I chose one that seemed the cleanest, best preserved, most versatile, and generally nicest available. Although I had initially planned to just buy a hollow cabinet with no game PCB in it, I managed to snag a functioning machine. This is one better, even if the game in question is...well...
Caveman Ninja
"Players control Joe and Mac, two cavemen who fight against enemy cavemen and dinosaurs using projectile weapons. The object of the game is to help Joe and Mac rescue their 'Cave Babes' from huge dinosaurs on six different stages."
Right. Soon it will play Vampire Saviour and Final Fight. Eventually it will play Metal Slug X, Gundam, Capcom VS. SNK, and Guilty Gear XX. That is all that matters.
Properly loaded onto the truck (via a freight elevator that was labelled unsafe by the building inspector) we took it back to my house. With no small amount of fuss, it was maneuvered onto the porch, where it still sits and will remain until space can be found inside.
Some time later, the three of us headed off to the sneak preview of Matrix Reloaded before heading our separate ways.
I'll be honest, I loved this movie. Loved. This movie. I've seen it three times now, and I love it more every time.
There seems to be rough concensus amongst the geekier element that it wasn't very good. To this I offer a warning for my geekoid brethren. You are starting to bite the hand that feeds you, big time. Stop it. It also seems to have sent a mass of trendy counterculturalists into a massive apopleptic fit, but who cares. There's a somewhat peculiar laundry list of complaints I keep hearing, that all sound suspiciously like "There should have been deeper exploration of the philosophical issues, but, like, with less talking." or "There was way too much action, and it all looked way too good". I have also since witnessed a peculiar phenomenon, whilst eavesdropping in public places, of people who brag about how much they hated it, describe some poor soul who actually enjoyed it as if they were discussing a new and interesting kind of leper, and then go on to enthusiastically list their favorite parts. This sort of behaviour makes me wonder how we manage to have any discernable culture at all these days. I'll admit it was not, as some people seemed to want it to be, the Peking Opera production of Hamlet as interpreted by Oscar Wilde. But for what it was, it was very, very, very good. Yes, the party in Zion went on too long. Yes, the sex scene was downright peculiar. Yes, the Merovingian's cake was rather out of place at best. But that's it for complaints. Beyond those three things, it was, for what it was, perfect. I loved it. I won't disclaim or apologize for loving it. And I'm first in line for Revolutions.
With that out of the way, I'll leave you with this parting tale of oddness. Before the movie started, there was a tangible tension in the crowd. At one point, the previews started running, only to get cut off and leave us with a profound disappointment. The crowd let out a collective moan of disappointment, then a few scattered booing and hissing, some isolated yelling at the projectionist. Then, amidst the lingering murmur of outrage and otherwise apropos of nothing, everyone started chanting "Yankees suck!" at the top of their lungs.
Oh, Boston...
Carter [4:09 AM]
[ Wednesday, May 07, 2003 ]
So, for me, the question is not "How on earth did I manage to get over 100 kilos of luggage to the airport?" nor is it "How dare they charge me another 20000 yen for my luggage?" but rather, (thanks to the US government's new "unimaginable pain in the ass" security policy that prevents you from checking bags through to your final destination) "How in the hell am I going to carry my 100 kilos of luggage through Chicago?".
In other news, Narita airport has free internet access.
Running home.
Congratulations to Jo for the solo going so well (not to mention the grades), I can't tell you how much I miss you right now.
And it's mostly laserdiscs, if you were wondering.
Carter [9:35 PM]
