[ Monday, January 13, 2003 ]
So, a gangsta, a hacker, and a communist are talking to a cowboy.
The cowboy says "I heard there was going to be a Married With Children reunion special.
The hacker says "Who cares?".
The communist says "WHY?!".
And the gangsta says "If you ever mention this again, I'm gonna throw you down a flight of stairs."
Then the hell's angel told them all to shut the fuck up.
That's not a joke so much as it's something that happened a few hours ago.
I was the communist.
Carter [11:00 PM]
Can't sleep...can't sleep...
I get tired to the point where I can't function anymore, but I can't bring myself to sleep. Last night I was up until well after four finishing off my final paper for film. At around 4:30, I collapsed onto the sofa and...lay awake for another three hours. I fell asleep sometime in the neighborhood of 7:30, after watching a truly depressing sunrise. I got up again at 11, since I had to make my little sections of the house vaguely presentable for the realtor's appraisal today. I hate it when this happens. With insomnia, you're never asleep, but you're never really awake either.
For an encore, I will now turn in this paper and watch Vertigo for the 9th time in as many days (albeit in a theater this time) before coming back and finishing up my law final fueled by my 3 1/2 hours of somewhat ok sleep. If anyone needs me after that...don't. Especially considering my flawless history of becoming violently ill immediately after finals.
Carter [3:15 PM]
[ Saturday, January 11, 2003 ]
Minor sidebar revision, since I'm kinda procrastinating. I'll do more later. Meanwhile, everyone needs to go read William Gibson's blog. Now. Not later. NOW.
Go.
Do it.
There is no more for you here! The new sidebar is crap! Go to Gibson! Go! GO!!!
Why are you still reading this?!?! I've made myself perfectly clear. Leave before I get upset.
...
DAMNIT!! No one EVER listens to me!! I hate my life!! I never wanted to be a student anyway, I wanted be a ninja assassin! But NO, I had to cop out and do the "sane" thing. I had to get "educated" so that I could "survive". Bollocks! The man is keeping me down, but I won't abandon my dream. Maybe if I study real hard, maybe if I can pass my drivers test...help I'm a rock! Help I'm a rock! Don't eat yellow snow! And don't 'poon unless you've got smartwheels! Ignoti et quasi occulti indeed. Can't be a ninja assassin without proper ninja equipment they said, but nobody ever tells you how to get the stuff. What am I supposed to do, just make ninja equipment from scratch? I can't even manage to microwave instant food without hurting myself, and they expect me to trust my life to a homemade grappling hook? Yeah, right. And those stupid ninja lembas pills take like 3 years to make. If I had that kind of patience I could get a REAL job! Who do they think they're fooling? And I bet they'd let me be a ninja assassin if I could get into the freemason's lodge! But no! I told them my grandfather was a mason, but I can't prove it and all his stuff is in Oklahoma. Not like they would keep records or anything, they only run the fucking world. How organized can we expect them to be? Freemasonry opens doors! And you get to go to meetings in a funny building, and wear strange clothes, and if you're really good they'll dunk you into a pool of water and electrocute you with a magic rug they only use on special occasions. And sand fleas! SAND FLEAS!!!
...
This was brought to you by the paper I'm not writing.
Carter [4:10 AM]
[ Sunday, January 05, 2003 ]
Happy New Year!
...and all that. My dog was very sick recently. She wasn't eating, wasn't drinking, and was generally lethargic. Plus she was shaking a lot. We took her to the vet, who rehydrated her and ran a bunch of tests. Evidence suggested that she was suffering from lymphosarcoma, which is just...like...amazingly bad. This vet tried to be reassuring by telling me that it was the best kind of late-stage incurable cancer my dog could possibly have.
Umm...right.
After a very sad, stressful couple of days, some tissue test results came back and thoroughly confused my vet by being completely noncancerous. This required that a somewhat invasive biopsy be performed in order to gather larger samples. Long story short (since I was left to obsess over this for more than a week, and frankly I think the time it takes to read this parenthetical comment is about long enough for someone to have to go through that) my dog does not have cancer. Not even the really good cancer. She had hepatitis, combined with a yeast infection on two of her paws. Evidently this combination can look remarkably like lymphoma to most basic tests. And although there's some permanent damage to her liver, she's pretty much fine now. For this I am grateful.
Carter [4:10 AM]
